Quickwrites

So you know how sometimes you have this scene in your head and you feel like you must write it down right away? Well I have a few of those relating to Celadon so I'm going to put them up here. Feel free to criticize any of my work, I'm only trying to improve my writing. :)



  Char glanced around wildly as two men pounded on him, and he felt weakness overtake him as a red, metallic liquid dripped ferociously into a deep puddle resting on the barren dirt. He fought in vain to keep his eyes open as his leg seemed to erupt in flames. As they forced him to stand on his, he crumpled to the ground, utterly defeated.
  Let them do what they like. I won't live through this anyway.
  Blackness began to engulf him as one of the men whispered in his ear. “Where is she?” he demanded. Char slowly lifted his arm and pointed at the tree the girl had been hiding behind only a few minutes ago.
  He'd been trying to steer the men away from her, but they hurt him too much. More than he'd ever bared. No one was worth taking this beating, he thought. Not even this girl. Especially not this girl.
~10/21/11

   A rustle startled the eerie quiet section of the woods. Char walked slowly, weary that he might come across some unwanted people. Urana had warned him about that. Apparently there were many enemies where they were working.
   “Who are you?” a young girl's voice sounded from behind him. He jumped up startled, then slowly turned around.
  She spoke CommonTounge, and though he wasn't comfortable with that language, he knew it and replied messily back to her. He had always spoken BlackTounge.
   “Someone,” he replied casually, and shrugging so she would see that he wasn't afraid of her. Then he remembered the incident from the last time he said that, and glared at her defiantly and threateningly in the eye.
   The girl returned the glare. “You don't tell me, then you don't belong here.” Her voice was haughty, and she acted as if this whole place belonged to her. Char decided to get more firm with her.
  Shifting his weight, he hissed, “You have no business saying that.”
  “Oh yeah?”
  Char glanced at the bow now aimed directly toward his chest. He couldn't resist taking a step back. Unfortunately, the girl seemed more encouraged to pester him because of that.
   “Well?” she demanded.
   Char held his hands up, as if giving in. “I'm a thief from the town of Jacr.”
   The girl's eyes widened as he spoke the name of where he had lived before leaving the town where his parents had died, and he wondered what she knew about there. But her snarl spoke nothing of what her face expressed. “A thief?” Char noticed that the bow was now pulled tighter and she was squinting, trying to aim directly at his heart.
   “Don't do that,” he whispered. “That wouldn't be right.” Fear now enclosed his mind and he couldn't think to act smart around the girl anymore. Not wanting to see if she's listen to him, he wheeled around and took off sprinting as far as he could get from her.
~10/22/11

   Char tentatively crept in the mansion after his friends. This was one of the most respected manors in Jacr and he and his friends were going to nick some jewels from it.
   They found a small sidetable filled with precious jewelry. Char began stuffing it in his bag along with the others. A hushed silence echoed in the house, but he knew that they inhabitants of the lovely mansion were awake.
   Suddenly an earsplitting crash of breaking glass filled the room. One of them had dropped a glass on the floor. Immediately the group of boys bolted out that door. But they were halted by a man standing just outside. “High Niforem....” Char whispered as fear crept into his head. They were in trouble now, for sure.
Footsteps sounded from behind them, and they saw the man's wife.
   As if rehearsed from before, three of the boys drew their knives simultaneously. Char had one, too, but he didn't want to use it. It would be cruel to use it.
   Despite his honorable thinking, the High Niforem grabbed him ferociously and threw him to the ground. The floor seemed to shudder beneath him, and the crack sounding from his back was hard to ignore. Char grunted, but managed to pull himself up again before the man stomped on his chest.
   Suddenly he found himself pressed against the wall. He felt something slide in his pocket, and realized that the man had taken his knife from him. He gasped as a fresh slash was made across his back, then another. But he couldn't move. He was too weak, and the man held him firmly.
   When the High Niforem finally released, Char staggered back, than landed with a thud on the ground. His breathing was cut short as the man stood on his chest. He felt a few cracks in his ribs. Mustering all the strength he had left, Char managed to throw him off. He kneeled, gasping for air.
   Something hit him from behind, knocking him back on the floor, his nose smashed into the ground, Quickly he rolled over, but then winced as something sharp jabbed his stomach.
   As the world began to fade into darkness, he felt like he was being stabbed, again, and again, and again....

Silence awoke Char from his dreamless sleep. As he looked around him, he noticed two other boys sitting nearby, bleeding from a few cuts.
   He moaned as he tried to sit up. One of the boys rushed towards him. “You a'right?” he asked, looking concerned.
   “What happened, Ash?” Char managed to mumble before falling back down. His azure eyes searched the boy's face as he waited for his answer.
   Ash replied reluctantly. “You, me, an' Bristle over there are the only survivors. The rest, and Mr. an' Mrs. Niforem are dead.”
~10/22/11


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